Happily Ever Now

I went to a San Rafael Chamber of Commerce Mixer this week. There was a raffle for half of the bucket of money which is based on how many people buy tickets.

I only bought one ticket because that’s all it takes to win. As the woman with the bucket put the ticket in my hand, my friend Sharon said, “Jen’s lucky. She’s going to win.” I thought to myself, “Cool, more than one person is wanting me to win. I have Sharon’s good ju-ju working for me to. I am going to win.”

As they were calling out the number for the $75 cash, I reached into my pocket to pull out my ticket. I couldn’t find it. Darn, I thought, it’s these shallow pockets in these dress pants. Then I remembered I put it in my back pocket so I wouldn’t loose it. I found it.

The first number they called out for the winning ticket was an 8. My ticket number began with a 2.

My friend Sharon won.

Want for others what you want for yourself.

Are you going around and around in circles wondering what to do about circumstances that you feel like you have no control over?

Yes, I’m gonna do the New Age thing and tell you that you created them. It’s a bitch right?

I know. My ego, my inner toddler, my inner teen and my inner redneck all hate to hear that too. When I hear those words, “You’re creating it” I want to blow up like a witch from a Disney movie. Which part of me exactly is creating my reality anyway?

If I don’t own that I’m creating my reality I become a New Age outcast and I become a victim to my reality. The victim mentality is a total freaking nightmare of a reality to create.

It’s like an addiction to self-pity and to evoking others to pity you. What does this give the victim?

I just read an article by Heidrun Bergsdottir called “Winner Vs. Victim Mentality.” It kicked my ass. I’m a victim about some areas of my life. Money is the biggest villain that supports this role.

What confuses my brain is that it wasn’t always like this.

Oh no! I think I’m being a victim again. Let me try again…

I’ve had the opportunity since living in California to increase my “money bucket” or “money blueprint” by expanding my capacity to spend money through unsecured credit. I’ve learned a TON about business the hard way and I have learned that I can not know where my next meal is coming from and be present with that. I have an amazing capacity to hold a safe space for clients who are going through serious money issues. I’m making more money than I’ve ever made in my life.

I’ve said to people that the reason that I am working on Happily Ever Now and supporting people in relationship is because it’s the area of my life where I’ve experienced the most pain and pleasure. Money is second. I am changing my relationship with money.